Just like hair in new places, head shots are a fact of life

Maybe it's playing in a rec league, maybe it's the new rules, but the issue du jour in Toronto area dodgeball seems to be head shots. When to call them, when not to call them, and most importantly, the apparently dire need to STOP THROWING SO HIGH.

Really, this has been the theme of the season: Teams complaining about head shots. The first week with the Moth Balls, the other team asked (yelled at) me to stop throwing the ball so hard at girls. Never mind that one of their male players bloodied one of my teammates' noses and never mind that I never threw a ball higher then waist-high. I made a conscious effort to throw lower, but to stop throwing my hardest at the request of another team is, to me, ridiculous. Particularly considering the fact that I don't even throw that hard.

The second game that week, playing with the Evil Empire, we had agreed that all head shots would be neutral on the assumption that no one would purposely aim high, and no one would purposely get hit in the head. Unfortunately, we promptly hit the same player in the head at least a half-dozen times, if not more. It wasn't on purpose, but it did happen frequently. Eventually, our opponent got fed up and yelled at us to stop throwing at his head, that our neutral head shot calls were bullshit and that we should play by the proper rules. Jimmers spoke to him after the round and calmed him down, and, to his credit, the guy came over to us and apologized for his outburst after the game.

In the second week of the season, the Moth Balls had similar issues. My arm was aching so I was trying to stick to my sidearm throw (which is much softer and lower then my regular overhand pitch) but one of their players was a pretty good catcher and had a reasonably strong arm, so I made a point of using my overhand fastball on him. On a well-timed strike I blasted him in the chest. His reaction? "WATCH THE HEAD SHOTS!" Not that I had hit him in the head, mind you. Although he articulated it poorly, he was just that he'd been hit hard and caught unawares.

We were having similar trouble with our opponents on Thursday night, when the Evil Empire lost to the Hell Spawns. Although their captain had suggested we call all head shots as neutral, his teammates insisted that we were out any time we hit them in the head. At the same time, on one play where I was hit square in the face, they tried to claim that it had bounced off my hands and into my face. They also hit Jellybean directly in the head, after distracting her by yelling at her for already being out.

Clearly, the head shots are out of hand.

More specifically, the reaction to head shots is out of proportion and out of hand. They're an inevitable part of the game and, going against Freudian logic, not at all on purpose. It reminds me of a conversation I once overheard during a lacrosse practice. One of my teammates, Chris, had been a linebacker with the university's football team and switched sports to join our lacrosse team. During a practice he flattened one of our smaller teammates and began spouting apologies and saying that he'd go easier next time around. Eventually, the smaller player replied "Relax. It's not like I go home and tell my mom 'I can't believe I got hit playing lacrosse!' It's part of the game. I expect it."

If only dodgeball players could take head shots in stride as well as my lacrosse teammate. Head shots, getting hit hard with the ball, are all part of the game. It can hurt, take you by surprise, and even upset you. But to complain about it? That's nonsense. Head shots are a fact of dodgeball life.

The only thing to we have to fear is fear itself

Unfortunately, on Thursday night the Evil Empire lost for the first time this season. We were playing a team called the Hell Spawns at Fieldstone Day School up near Lawrence and Dufferin. Although the Empire has won the majority of its matches, when it loses it follows a very set formula.

We win the first few rounds.

We lose a round.

We win a round, but in an unsatisfying manner.

We get frustrated.

The wheels come off the bus.

We lose a bunch of rounds.

We lose the game.

Although it's a frustrating cycle, it just illustrates how much emotion and passion we play with. When something gets us down, it takes us way down. And when we get frustrated, our frustration just builds and builds and it's very hard to break out of.

This week, the frustration was stemming from a couple of issues. The first was that we had three players playing who were not able to play the previous week, specifically Hot Sauce, The Deal and Smirnoff, and so all three had to work through some rust. Personally, I was dealing with an arm that had gotten creaky during my Tuesday night rec league game. Although all three guys played very well and made some great catches, it was clear that they needed some time to feel comfortable on the court again.

Something that added to that discomfort was the Hell Spawns insistence on sticking to some of TCSSC's new rules, specifically:

iv. Once in possession of a ball, a player cannot under any circumstances place a ball back down on their own side of the court. By doing so, that player is out. This includes putting a ball down in an attempt to catch on a second incoming ball. If you drop the original ball (by accident or on purpose), you are out.

Many times he had players make a big catch, and then throw the ball down to look for a second catch or just because they didn't like the feel of the ball. So although they got the big out, they were also out. We even had players dribbling the ball as they were winding up for a throw, which also meant they were out.

Third of all, the TCSSC rep was unable to find a janitor at the school, so there was no wall between the two dodgeball games being played in the gym. This meant that our balls were constantly going out of bounds (that's what she said?) and landing in the midst of the adjacent game.

Finally, our opponents, the Hell Spawns, were impressively inconsistent in their application of the rules. They'd make a big show of counting down our ten second time limit with the balls, but if we did the same, they'd ignore us. Their captain asked that we call all head shots as neutral, and then they called us out if we accidentally hit them in the head. In one ugly incident, they argued a call with Jellybean, and as she was seeking clarification from them, one of their players hit her directly in the head.

Although we played well for the first twenty minutes, the combination of rust, struggling with the new rules, the balls constantly leaving or entering the court, and the scattershot interpretation of the rules by our opponents was just too much for us. We got frustrated, and when we're frustrated we play angry and stupid. We need to stay loose and have fun to play well, and everything just got us wound up too tight. One of our players ended up yelling at the TCSSC rep, and I had to bench him for the remaining round.

As Yogi Berra once said, half of this game is ninety percent mental. Thursday night underscored that for me. We can definitely bounce back from this game, and I wholly expect we will, but it just goes to show that the only team in the league that can beat the Evil Empire is the Evil Empire itself.

"They're beginning to believe...."

Game two of the Moth Ball's season was last night, at St. Luke's Gym, a school where I've played at least a dozen times before. It's a good size gym, but as it always is, it was pretty damn warm. We were playing the somewhat panicked sounding DUCK!.

We won 10-7, even though DUCK! staged a small comeback in the late quarter of the hour.

I definitely had a stronger game then the previous week, where I felt I was struggling with my throws and with my dodging. I was still very rusty. However, with the first week of dodgeball under my belt, I had shook off the rust and was performing much better. My throws were much stronger and I had better control. Throws I'd missed in the first week were connecting. All this was despite the fact that in the very first round my shoulder had made a fantastic snap-crackle-pop sound. I stuck to throwing my sidearm pitch, except at close range or against guys who'd proven that they were strong catchers. In particular, I had to use an overhand fast ball or a curve against their best player, a guy who was throwing pretty hard and could catch.

Given how shitacular my dodging had been the week before, it was an easy step to improve this time around. Last week I'd been making brutal rookie mistakes like turning my back to the centre-line to pick up walls bouncing off the wall. I had also developed the habit of staying still when someone called a barrage down on me. That is no way to avoid a ball. I made a mental note of these mistakes last week, and made a point of keeping more active and being more conservative in my approach to the game.

The highlight of the game though, was not my play (as pleased as I am with my performance) but with the play of my teammates. Our first game, all of our offensive production was limited to just a few players. In our second week, everyone on our team got at least two people out. Everyone was throwing well, and everyone was catching. I felt like Morpheus in the Matrix. "They're starting to believe."

At this point, I have been keeping my mouth shut about tactics and strategies and the different philosophies of dodgeball because I don't want to come off as pedantic or arrogant. All this progress is of their own doing, a natural step as everyone gets used to the speed of the game. It is not just a dodgeball thing either - - the most important step in developing skill at any competitive level of sport is getting used to the pace of it. As soon as you're accustomed to the speed of a game, you can make better decisions and you can see the play unfold. It helps with your timing, and timing, as they say is everything.

Miyamoto Musashi says: "The way to win in a battle according to military science is to know the rhythms of the specific opponents, and use rhythms that your opponents do not expect, producing formless rhythms from rhythms of wisdom." (The Earth Scroll)

As we learn about the speed and pacing of the game, we learn about its timing and, as Musashi says, we learn how to use that timing against our opponents.

The best example of this was a round that my line played last night where we were consistently able to counter-strike DUCK! and make them play on their heels. It was easily the fastest round of the game, and although I was on the court, I actually didn't even touch a ball. It was all Jellybean, Lefty, and our teammates just getting in touch with the flow of the sport.

It was an excellent game.

We take summers off because we love winter beef...

After my first game with the Moth Balls I was really sore. I mean, really really sore. I had picked up a very attractive scab on my right hip from floor-burn from sliding on the floor, and was generally sore from getting back into the swing of things. Also, my new job which is about 90% heavy-lifting didn't help either.

Fortunately, the Evil Empire's game was at Blessed John Elementary School and featured the Tiniest Gym Ever(tm). Seriously, the gym is maybe thirty paces deep. Our game was against the Shweaty Balls who've played a great deal of dodgeball at the recreational and intermediate levels. Surprisingly, we'd never played them before, at least not in this incarnation. Their captain, Jen, had been a member of the Dodgefathers, one of the better teams we regularly play. They also had a player who had been on a team called Chocolate Salty Balls, a team that soundly defeated us in our first season five years ago.

Unlike my game with the Moth Balls, I was feeling little rust, and I don't think many of us on the Empire were. I got two catches, including a low catch where I had to drop to my knees to end a round, and my throws were humming. In particular, I made good use of exiting players to catch our opponents by surprise. Although we were running a short bench (with Vaggio injured, Hot Sauce in class, The Deal at work, and Smirnoff out drinking after a work event) everyone played really well.

In particular, 8Mile played really well. This was the first game of only his second season, but he played exceedingly well. He got at least five catches, and, most impressively, was an excellent striker. I won't get in to too much detail, as I am planning on dedicating a future post to the topic, but in short, a strike a counter-attack. 8Mile was really quick at grabbing a loose ball and running in and pegging our opponents at short range just as they had, or were about to, throw a barrage at our team. He broke up a lot of their plays, and insured that every time they got one of us out, we got one of them out. It really was a masterful performance!

One highlight of the game was that I had asked the other team's captain to call head shots neutral since no one is going to purposely get hit in the head with a ball, and no one wants to purposely hit anyone in the head with the ball. Seeing the sense in my suggestion, she agreed.

We promptly hit one of their players in the head, particularly in his face, at least ten times.

It wasn't on purpose, it was just bad luck. Pocahontas hit him two or three times because the ball slipped from her hand. My Pet Monster and Tool Time were both having their balls spin up and in to his face, and even I hit him at close range when he ducked down low and caught the ball in the jaw. Eventually, he lost his cool and told us that it was bullshit that we'd asked for head shots to be neutral and that we had to stop throwing low.

Much to my surprise, and pleasure, Jimmers calmly spoke to him after that round and told him that we weren't doing it on purpose and that he should calm down. Yelling wouldn't get us anywhere. It was nice to see Jimmers, who in the past has been the most hot-headed member of our team, be the voice of reason.

We played a very tight game with excellent teamwork and communication and won 15-10. We also got full spirit points, putting us in a three way tie for first place along with our nemesis New Sense Presents: Girls' Night Out and our friends on Dodgebull 2.

This season, we're doing what we call the Reg Dunlop Award every week. The Reg Dunlop is, essentially, a prize that goes to someone on our team for completing a particular task. This week, it was to see who could catch the most balls in a game. It came down to Week One MVP 8Mile and Jimmers, both of whom had caught five or six balls. In the end, it came down to a tie-breaker in the final, all-in round. 8Mile was eliminated in the round early, and Jimmers was able to win with a low grab. His prize was a very nice Wilson Athletics Backpack which he decided to give to Banana who insisted she needed a new backpack. (see picture)

Welcome to the Rec Leagues....

Last night was my first game with the Moth Balls, the team organized by one of Jellybean's co-workers. The only players on our team with any dodgeball experience were myself, Jellybean, and Jellybean's twin, Lefty. Even then, Lefty's experience was limited to watching one Evil Empire game, and playing dodgeball a few times as a part of TCSSC's All-Sorts-of-Sports league.

This was very different then a typical night with the Evil Empire.

The most obvious difference was that both teams last night played every round with four girls and two guys out on the floor. The closest the Empire has ever come to that kind of social progress is two summers ago when we had a very small team and we would, on occasion, put out three girls and three guys. Otherwise, the Empire will put out four guys and two girls every round of every game. The Moth Balls weren't the only egalitarians, our opponents the Incredi-balls also put four girls and two guys out on the court for every round.

The other major difference was understanding and comprehension of the rules. In fairness, the league had changed their version of the rules of dodgeball that day, so that added to the confusion.

But the other team had some real struggles with the basics. For example, a guy and a girl on their team were convinced that the ball was still live after bouncing on the ground, which led to Who's-On-First stlye arguments like...

Incredi-ball: YOU'RE OUT!
Moth Ball: The ball bounced before it hit me.
IB: YEAH! I SAW! STOP CHEATING!
MB: But it bounced like three or four times!
IB: I KNOW!

And round and round we went... Another mistake they made was that they called Jellybean out because she blocked a ball and one of the Incredi-balls caught it. That should be a neutral play, but they insisted that she was out.

It's one of the funny truths of amateur sport: the more relaxed and recreational a sport is supposed to be, the more conflict and chaos there will be. A blown call by a referee or a missed play will slide right off the back of a professional athlete, but for the house league player in a university's intramural program it's the end of the world. Although competitive or even intermediate dodgeball is over-the-top in its intensity, many disputes are avoided because players just call plays neutral and focus on continuing their game.

The standings showed that we lost one spirit point, but our captain took two spirit points off the Incredi-balls. We're now in last place in the league, but because two games ended in ties, we can easily catch up in the standings with a big win with full spirit points.

However, I was very impressed with how my Moth Balls played. They were flexible in their thinking and adapted to the other team's strengths and weaknesses quickly. The biggest adjustment the Moth Balls will need to make is we need to get used to the speed of the game. There was a lot of standing around and watching the play unfold. With some more experience, we'll learn that a player can change the outcome of every second of the game.

The best part though, is that despite the bitchiness of the Incredi-Balls, the Moth Balls had tons of fun. There were smiles on everyone's faces, and everyone was excited for the next week of playing.

Personally, I had a sub-par game. Although I had two or three catches and my throws were good and hard, I lacked accuracy and missed a lot of easy outs. I was keeping the ball down low, but it was tailing to the right too much. My dodging was off too. I was too conscious of the new rules, and committed the cardinal sin of dodgeball: I turned my back to the play. I chalked it all up to rust and fighting a strong head cold, but it was still disappointing.

We lost the game 15-7, but that's alright. We played very well and the Moth Balls show a lot of promise. I am sure that the second time we play the Incredi-balls we'll come out on top.

Gear of the Game: Kicks

As I'm obsessed with dodgeball, I think about it a lot. Not just making big plays, but the tiny little things that make differences in your style and comfort with the game. Obviously, there's a lot to be said for skills, tactics, and strategies, but what you wear during a game can make a huge difference.

But when you get down to it, the most important piece of equipment you can wear are your kicks, your wheels, your shoes.

Some of my teammates on the Evil Empire, specifically Hot Sauce and My Pet Monster, like to play in their bare feet to get a better feel for the floor. Or because they forget their running shoes at home. It's all very Tarzan.

Most players wear your standard-issue running shoes. Jellybean is a fan of her Adidas, and Jimmers recently went through a pair of red Nikes. One of the problems with regular running shoes is that the soles are separate pieces from the rest of the shoe that are glued on. The explosive lateral movements of dodgeball tend to rip and tear the soles of your shoes off.

That's why my weapon of choice are basketball shoes, particularly AND1s. First of all, being associated with the likes of this...



...gives me unbelievable street cred in the world of semi-pro dodgeball.

More importantly, basketball shoes are perfectly designed for the kind of movements necessary for dodgeball. They're very durable and have a great grip on the floor, which, after all, is usually a basketball court. Also, as Jimmers has often pointed out, because they've got high-tops, they offer superior ankle support.

For me, the Rolls Royce of dodgeball shoes would have to be the T-Mac 4s that came out from Adidas about three years ago. They used the HUG system, which was a laceless shoe-fitting system that had a lever and screw system on the back to adjust the tightness of your shoes. Unfortunately, they were an unwieldy $350, before tax. Also, wearing T-Macs would mean never winning a playoff series in the NBA, and that would be terrible.

This is another reason why AND1s are preferable. They're not that expensive, which is good because eventually all dodgeball shoes meet the same fate: Dodgeball burns.

It's an epidemic amongst dodgeball shoes, one that claims many fresh and clean pairs of Nikes, Adidas, Reeboks and even K-Swiss. They effect many shoes, including shoes that may very well be in your own closet. Dodgeball burns occur from dragging your plant foot during the follow-through of a throw. The top of your toes and sometimes even your ankle rub across the floor and burn off the shoe's material. Doing this week after week creates holes on the top of your shoes and end up destroying them since, after all, shoes aren't built for this kind of punishment.

Trust me when I say this: your shoes can make your game. Go out and invest some time in a good pair, but not too much money since they will, inevitably, be destroyed by the end of a season.

Awkward Introduction

This is always my least favourite part of a blog: the super-awkward introduction. As you can see here, the introduction to my other blog was brutal. I couldn't even use fonts consistently, and it was only two paragraphs! Ouch.

Long story short, I've been playing dodgeball in the Greater Toronto Area for the past five years, and have won four championships. Three of the championships were in the Toronto Central Sports and Social Club, and one was in a tournament held by the rival Toronto Dodgeball League.

In just a few days I'm starting another season, playing for my girlfriend's work team, the Moth Balls, which will be enrolled in TCSSC's Tuesday night recreational league. Aside from Jellybean and I, no one on the team will have any dodgeball experience.

The other team I'm playing with is the Evil Empire, which I'm the captain of, and this will be our fifth straight year of competition. We won the inaugural Toronto dodgeball championship back in the fall of 2003, and we've won three others since then. Our last season, the spring of 2008, we beat all comers and won the championship again. I wholly expect that we'll be contenders again.

I'm starting this blog for several reasons...

• to impart my considerable wisdom to my teammates, as well as dodgeball players around the world
• to record, for posterity, the trials and tribulations of two very different teams competing in the same city
• to entertain myself, my girlfriend, and my heterosexual life-partner Jimmers
• to revisit some of the crazy shit that's gone down in previous seasons

Anyway, this is definitely starting to get long-winded and awkward. The only way to break this kind of tension is to have sex or throw up the awkward turtle.