My back is killing me...

(me in the foreground, with Jill, Adam, Emily, and Jellybean in the background)

...but damn it's good to be back.

The Moth Balls played last night against a team called "I'd Hit That". Before the game even began, their captain admitted to us that they had never played dodgeball before and that if they broke any rules, we should just let them now.

Well, they knew that if the ball hit them, they were out. But that's about all they knew.

For those of you who are new to this blog, the rules were a big problem in both the recreational and intermediate dodgeball leagues I played in last season. In particular, head shots were contentious.

This team, however, knew next to nothing. To their credit, they were very honest and worked hard to learn the rules. They asked for clarification a couple of times and actually called their own teammates out over relatively minor infractions like holding on to a ball for too long or crossing the line.

I was impressed. They'll be a good team by the end of the season.

As for our team play, we actually played one of the best games, if not the best game, in the Moth Balls' history.

Jellybean had four catches, usually at key times. (Including one impressive catch where the ball bounced off her face.) Jill also had four or five catches. Good teams make the easy catches.

Perhaps most impressively, Emily held her ground and took out the entire team one round. She made catches, sniped some throws, and generally picked them off one-by-one. It was a fantastic performance.

My play was alright. I made one catch purely on instinct because I got hit in the nuts and my body automatically snapped in to a fetal position... fortunately, doing that trapped the ball between my knees.

Pathetically, at the age of 25 I am now playing like I am past my physical peak. I'm relying on clever plays and quick thinking. It gets me my outs, but I'm hardly as quick or flexible as I used to be!

Here we go!

After my brief sabbatical from the hardest hitting (and only) dodgeball blog on the internet, I am back to give you all the game stories, arguments, fights over the course of my twin seasons. Of course, I'll be continuing to write tips and strategies to make you a better dodgeballer.

Tonight's game, and all Tuesday night games this season, will be with the Moth Balls. There have been a few changes to the team; some players have stepped down from the roster. To make up these vacancies, we have some new additions to the team. Also, Jellybean, always more observant then me, noticed that we have been shuffled into a recreational league that has all new teams, as well as the bottom two teams from the least rec season.

Thursday night's will, for the fifth straight year, belong to the Evil Empire. My Dogs of War will gear up and step on to the court to fight the good fight and bring our particular brand of foam and latex anger to gyms across Toronto. Like the Moth Balls, the Evil Empire has lost a few players. So far, we've only been able to replace 8Mile with a former member of the black and silver: Hardcorey. However, I am trying to recruit at least one female player to give our girls a rest during games.

There are some storylines that I expect will permeate the year. Jimmers, Kannah and some friends have created their own team (the Fairy Dodgemothers) that will be in the same Tuesday night league as the Moth Balls. Our first game against each other will be three weeks from now and should be a slobberknocker. The Moth Balls will continue to challenge themselves and grow as players and athletes. The Evil Empire will continue to try and harness their prodigious talents and control their tempers. Both teams will be fighting not just for respect but to make sure that they win a championship.

It promises to be an exciting year.

The two sweetest words in the English language: DEFAULT!

On Tuesday night Moth Balls' captain and archives aficionado Marina emailed the team to let us know that there was a very good chance that our opponents for the evening (Not In The Face!) might have to forfeit the game. After some deliberation, the other team told Marina that yes, they would be able to show up, but might not have enough players for a proper game. Instead, the Moth Balls and Not In The Face! would have a mixed game with people just playing for fun. Jellybean and I both had some work to do at home, and the weather was crappy, so we decided not to go.

Now tonight's Evil Empire game is also ending in a default! Our opponents, SLAUGTERHOUSE, had to forfeit because they all work together and tonight is their work Christmas party. So we're going to have a scrimmage amongst our team and with some of our friends playing too.

So, alas, no game reports for you, my loyal fans.

However, I do want to note that the end of our dodgeball seasons does not mean an end to the content on this blog. Instead I'll be focusing on instructional posts or, maybe, just maybe, some allegedly funny posts.

Your hero,
Chudley #77

That's more like it!

Alas, the Moth Balls did not make the championship brackets.

Instead, we are playing in the consolation brackets. Our first round match-up is against a familiar foe: DUCK!.

DUCK! are very similar to the Moth Balls - - both teams put an emphasis on having fun and learning how to play the game, which makes the game more pleasurable for our team. The first time we locked horns with them, we beat them 10-7. The second time, we lost 11-8.

Unfortunately, due to illness, a busted subway system, and a vacation to Mexico, we were very short on players. The first round only had me, Jellybean, Lefty, Mary and Andrew. We played really well, and won the first round.

The subway blockage got cleared up and our teammates began to trickle in, but unfortunately we were never able to get a lead on our opponents. We just traded rounds with them all night. One highlight, or low-light, depending on your viewpoint, was when I smoked one of their girls in the face. It was totally by accident; the ball slipped out of my hand as I wound up for a sidearm throw. She was totally caught by surprise as the ball sailed right in to her face.

Over the course of the season, DUCK! had developed an annoying habit: not going to the bench when hit by a ball. It sounds simple, but it was surprising to see how often they'd get hit squarely by a ball and not react to it. In particular, one of their guys was oblivious to when he was out. It would take three or four direct hits to get him to acknowledge that yes, he was, in fact, out.

I know this sounds like sour grapes, but I swear that if DUCK! had been more honest, we would have tied or even won the game. As it is, we lost 10-7.

Made of FAIL.

Weeks ago the Moth Balls played a team called DUCK!. As you may recall, we beat them quite handedly and we were all encouraged with the progress we'd made as a team.

In that game I played fairly well. My throws were really humming, although my shoulder was beginning to ache. One of the girls on their team called out "I'm scared of your throws!" It was all quite gratifying.

This week would be very different: I sucked.

Epicly.

I was way too aggressive and something of a ball hog. A poor strategy given that we were playing at the surprisingly deep St. Luke's Gym and my arm has become a noodle thanks to playing two hours of dodgeball a week. At the same time, I was trying way too hard to get catches.

Although I had two very strong, dominant rounds I still reeked of effort. A strong athletic performance in any sport should seem comfortable, like second nature. Getting winded, wincing in pain, or just generally being awkward in any sport is a recipe for disaster. I was guilty of just working too hard and overplaying.

My poor play was compounded by the fact that no one on our team played well. We all had tough nights. We man-handled DUCK! six weeks ago, and they returned the favour and beat us 11-8.

Even Jellybean couldn't muster up much in the way of moral support. She had to admit that it had been the worst game she'd seen me play. Ever.

Oh well. Gotta put it behind me. Today's throw has no effect on tomorrow's.

Tuesday night's alright for fighting...

The Moth Balls, my rec league team, have now cycled through to the beginning of their schedule and replayed the Incredi-balls, a team we played in our very first week. The first time round was not a pleasant experience.

They were, for lack of a better term, a bag of dicks.

They were unfamiliar with rules (in particular, they were convinced a ball was still live after hitting the ground) and ignored when the ball had hit them directly. They'd also complained about me throwing the ball too hard.


Jellybean, Lefty and I were not looking forward to playing them again and even discussed printing off the rules to help us in any arguments that may arise.


I knew we were in trouble when early in the game one of their guys made a point of crossing the floor to shake the hand of our teammate Rob. I know this may sound weird, but I never trust a guy who shakes hands too much. You shake hands when you meet someone, when you congratulate them, and that's it. Anything else is insincere.

Although the Incredi-balls had certainly learned some of the rules, they still were pretty bad. They thought the ball was dead if blocked by another ball. They purposely took headers into thrown balls to try and get our players out. One of their guys regularly tried to act injured. When the ball hit them, even squarely, they'd act like they didn't get hit. Some players would have to be hit three or four times for it to "take".

In particular, they were angry with how hard I was throwing. Now, as I've said earlier, I only throw sidearm in this league and make sure I throw very low. So although I might throw harder then most players, at least it's always below the waist. In fact, the only person I hit in the head was a guy who purposely dipped his head into the ball.

So in the last round of the game, I hit a girl with the ball. Absolutely clear. A solid hit in the small of her back. She refused to get off the floor, because I was being "unsportsmanlike".

Then things got out of hand.

I was content to keep playing (I could've hit her three of four more times, for all I cared) but that was the last straw for my team and, apparently, for the Incredi-balls. Both benches cleared so that people could stand chest to chest and argue. One of the Incredi-balls called my team captain a "fat bitch". Both teams got zero spirit points.

What makes this so upsetting is that they were pretty proud of how they behaved. They won the game, so they think they have some kind of moral high ground. They don't realize that they'd get smoked in a competitive league, even an intermediate league, and that the only reason why they beat us was their blatant cheating. It was a frustrating game, but we likely won't have to play these guys again.

Getting a little more serious now...

This may not have come across in my previous Moth Ball posts, but our team had not won many games. In fact, we had only won one game, putting us in a tie for last place with a one and three record. Granted, our three losses had been close affairs, but a loss is a loss. Fortunately, we had also only lost one spirit point, so we were still in striking disctance of the top four teams, and therefore, a spot in the playoffs.

This week we played Not In The Face!!!!, co-holders of the cellar keys with us. Before the game, Lefty, Jellybean and I took the subway out together, and the girls and I decided that we were tired of losing, and were determined to win. Lefty went so far as to challenge me to try and get all six outs to win a round by myself. The challenge is, I'm trying very hard to hold back in the rec leagues, but I promised that I would see what I could do.

Our opponents were very late, and so I had a lot of time to properly get warmed up and stretched out which helped with my arm. My arm, particularly my shoulder, was feeling nice and loose. But I decided to throw all sidearm anyway, because Havergal is one of the deeper gyms I've had to play in, and I'm always concerned about throwing my arm out. I don't mind going overboard for a competitive league championship, but for a rec game cellar-dwellers derby? No thanks. Besides, I didn't want to lose us spirit points.

Turns out my sidearm was more then enough. I was only caught out once, and my throws were low and surprisingly hard. I was scattering their players left and right and even had a few rounds where I got lucky and took out two players with one bounce. I made a point of hanging back every round, and waiting for the flow of the game to get going, and then I'd grab a loose ball and start with a strong strike on one of their players. Generally, I was able to get in close and get in an emphatic hit on one of their more aggressive players. After making a statement like that, our opponents started to play on their heels and I was able to assert myself at the line and start picking them off. It didn't work every round, but it was pretty effective.

It got to the point where the other team couldn't keep their eyes off of me, even when I was without a ball. This opened them up to lots of snipes by my teammates on the Moth Balls.

And, really, that's the important thing. As much as my ego wants to take all the credit, there were some rounds I played in where we lost. There were some rounds that we won that I wasn't even playing. The Moth Balls really are learning to play, either from my example or figuring things out on their own. Their arms are getting more accurate and stronger, and they're seeing the play unfold.

As expected, playing on a rec team that's largely women is a complete change of pace from playing on the hyper-competitive Evil Empire which is largely men. Both teams are a lot of fun, albeit in very different ways. I'm glad to see the Moth Balls coming together, learning the Sport of Kings, and having fun. It's gratifying to see and be a part of.

Now, if I can only play like that every week...

The only thing to we have to fear is fear itself

Unfortunately, on Thursday night the Evil Empire lost for the first time this season. We were playing a team called the Hell Spawns at Fieldstone Day School up near Lawrence and Dufferin. Although the Empire has won the majority of its matches, when it loses it follows a very set formula.

We win the first few rounds.

We lose a round.

We win a round, but in an unsatisfying manner.

We get frustrated.

The wheels come off the bus.

We lose a bunch of rounds.

We lose the game.

Although it's a frustrating cycle, it just illustrates how much emotion and passion we play with. When something gets us down, it takes us way down. And when we get frustrated, our frustration just builds and builds and it's very hard to break out of.

This week, the frustration was stemming from a couple of issues. The first was that we had three players playing who were not able to play the previous week, specifically Hot Sauce, The Deal and Smirnoff, and so all three had to work through some rust. Personally, I was dealing with an arm that had gotten creaky during my Tuesday night rec league game. Although all three guys played very well and made some great catches, it was clear that they needed some time to feel comfortable on the court again.

Something that added to that discomfort was the Hell Spawns insistence on sticking to some of TCSSC's new rules, specifically:

iv. Once in possession of a ball, a player cannot under any circumstances place a ball back down on their own side of the court. By doing so, that player is out. This includes putting a ball down in an attempt to catch on a second incoming ball. If you drop the original ball (by accident or on purpose), you are out.

Many times he had players make a big catch, and then throw the ball down to look for a second catch or just because they didn't like the feel of the ball. So although they got the big out, they were also out. We even had players dribbling the ball as they were winding up for a throw, which also meant they were out.

Third of all, the TCSSC rep was unable to find a janitor at the school, so there was no wall between the two dodgeball games being played in the gym. This meant that our balls were constantly going out of bounds (that's what she said?) and landing in the midst of the adjacent game.

Finally, our opponents, the Hell Spawns, were impressively inconsistent in their application of the rules. They'd make a big show of counting down our ten second time limit with the balls, but if we did the same, they'd ignore us. Their captain asked that we call all head shots as neutral, and then they called us out if we accidentally hit them in the head. In one ugly incident, they argued a call with Jellybean, and as she was seeking clarification from them, one of their players hit her directly in the head.

Although we played well for the first twenty minutes, the combination of rust, struggling with the new rules, the balls constantly leaving or entering the court, and the scattershot interpretation of the rules by our opponents was just too much for us. We got frustrated, and when we're frustrated we play angry and stupid. We need to stay loose and have fun to play well, and everything just got us wound up too tight. One of our players ended up yelling at the TCSSC rep, and I had to bench him for the remaining round.

As Yogi Berra once said, half of this game is ninety percent mental. Thursday night underscored that for me. We can definitely bounce back from this game, and I wholly expect we will, but it just goes to show that the only team in the league that can beat the Evil Empire is the Evil Empire itself.

"They're beginning to believe...."

Game two of the Moth Ball's season was last night, at St. Luke's Gym, a school where I've played at least a dozen times before. It's a good size gym, but as it always is, it was pretty damn warm. We were playing the somewhat panicked sounding DUCK!.

We won 10-7, even though DUCK! staged a small comeback in the late quarter of the hour.

I definitely had a stronger game then the previous week, where I felt I was struggling with my throws and with my dodging. I was still very rusty. However, with the first week of dodgeball under my belt, I had shook off the rust and was performing much better. My throws were much stronger and I had better control. Throws I'd missed in the first week were connecting. All this was despite the fact that in the very first round my shoulder had made a fantastic snap-crackle-pop sound. I stuck to throwing my sidearm pitch, except at close range or against guys who'd proven that they were strong catchers. In particular, I had to use an overhand fast ball or a curve against their best player, a guy who was throwing pretty hard and could catch.

Given how shitacular my dodging had been the week before, it was an easy step to improve this time around. Last week I'd been making brutal rookie mistakes like turning my back to the centre-line to pick up walls bouncing off the wall. I had also developed the habit of staying still when someone called a barrage down on me. That is no way to avoid a ball. I made a mental note of these mistakes last week, and made a point of keeping more active and being more conservative in my approach to the game.

The highlight of the game though, was not my play (as pleased as I am with my performance) but with the play of my teammates. Our first game, all of our offensive production was limited to just a few players. In our second week, everyone on our team got at least two people out. Everyone was throwing well, and everyone was catching. I felt like Morpheus in the Matrix. "They're starting to believe."

At this point, I have been keeping my mouth shut about tactics and strategies and the different philosophies of dodgeball because I don't want to come off as pedantic or arrogant. All this progress is of their own doing, a natural step as everyone gets used to the speed of the game. It is not just a dodgeball thing either - - the most important step in developing skill at any competitive level of sport is getting used to the pace of it. As soon as you're accustomed to the speed of a game, you can make better decisions and you can see the play unfold. It helps with your timing, and timing, as they say is everything.

Miyamoto Musashi says: "The way to win in a battle according to military science is to know the rhythms of the specific opponents, and use rhythms that your opponents do not expect, producing formless rhythms from rhythms of wisdom." (The Earth Scroll)

As we learn about the speed and pacing of the game, we learn about its timing and, as Musashi says, we learn how to use that timing against our opponents.

The best example of this was a round that my line played last night where we were consistently able to counter-strike DUCK! and make them play on their heels. It was easily the fastest round of the game, and although I was on the court, I actually didn't even touch a ball. It was all Jellybean, Lefty, and our teammates just getting in touch with the flow of the sport.

It was an excellent game.

We take summers off because we love winter beef...

After my first game with the Moth Balls I was really sore. I mean, really really sore. I had picked up a very attractive scab on my right hip from floor-burn from sliding on the floor, and was generally sore from getting back into the swing of things. Also, my new job which is about 90% heavy-lifting didn't help either.

Fortunately, the Evil Empire's game was at Blessed John Elementary School and featured the Tiniest Gym Ever(tm). Seriously, the gym is maybe thirty paces deep. Our game was against the Shweaty Balls who've played a great deal of dodgeball at the recreational and intermediate levels. Surprisingly, we'd never played them before, at least not in this incarnation. Their captain, Jen, had been a member of the Dodgefathers, one of the better teams we regularly play. They also had a player who had been on a team called Chocolate Salty Balls, a team that soundly defeated us in our first season five years ago.

Unlike my game with the Moth Balls, I was feeling little rust, and I don't think many of us on the Empire were. I got two catches, including a low catch where I had to drop to my knees to end a round, and my throws were humming. In particular, I made good use of exiting players to catch our opponents by surprise. Although we were running a short bench (with Vaggio injured, Hot Sauce in class, The Deal at work, and Smirnoff out drinking after a work event) everyone played really well.

In particular, 8Mile played really well. This was the first game of only his second season, but he played exceedingly well. He got at least five catches, and, most impressively, was an excellent striker. I won't get in to too much detail, as I am planning on dedicating a future post to the topic, but in short, a strike a counter-attack. 8Mile was really quick at grabbing a loose ball and running in and pegging our opponents at short range just as they had, or were about to, throw a barrage at our team. He broke up a lot of their plays, and insured that every time they got one of us out, we got one of them out. It really was a masterful performance!

One highlight of the game was that I had asked the other team's captain to call head shots neutral since no one is going to purposely get hit in the head with a ball, and no one wants to purposely hit anyone in the head with the ball. Seeing the sense in my suggestion, she agreed.

We promptly hit one of their players in the head, particularly in his face, at least ten times.

It wasn't on purpose, it was just bad luck. Pocahontas hit him two or three times because the ball slipped from her hand. My Pet Monster and Tool Time were both having their balls spin up and in to his face, and even I hit him at close range when he ducked down low and caught the ball in the jaw. Eventually, he lost his cool and told us that it was bullshit that we'd asked for head shots to be neutral and that we had to stop throwing low.

Much to my surprise, and pleasure, Jimmers calmly spoke to him after that round and told him that we weren't doing it on purpose and that he should calm down. Yelling wouldn't get us anywhere. It was nice to see Jimmers, who in the past has been the most hot-headed member of our team, be the voice of reason.

We played a very tight game with excellent teamwork and communication and won 15-10. We also got full spirit points, putting us in a three way tie for first place along with our nemesis New Sense Presents: Girls' Night Out and our friends on Dodgebull 2.

This season, we're doing what we call the Reg Dunlop Award every week. The Reg Dunlop is, essentially, a prize that goes to someone on our team for completing a particular task. This week, it was to see who could catch the most balls in a game. It came down to Week One MVP 8Mile and Jimmers, both of whom had caught five or six balls. In the end, it came down to a tie-breaker in the final, all-in round. 8Mile was eliminated in the round early, and Jimmers was able to win with a low grab. His prize was a very nice Wilson Athletics Backpack which he decided to give to Banana who insisted she needed a new backpack. (see picture)

Welcome to the Rec Leagues....

Last night was my first game with the Moth Balls, the team organized by one of Jellybean's co-workers. The only players on our team with any dodgeball experience were myself, Jellybean, and Jellybean's twin, Lefty. Even then, Lefty's experience was limited to watching one Evil Empire game, and playing dodgeball a few times as a part of TCSSC's All-Sorts-of-Sports league.

This was very different then a typical night with the Evil Empire.

The most obvious difference was that both teams last night played every round with four girls and two guys out on the floor. The closest the Empire has ever come to that kind of social progress is two summers ago when we had a very small team and we would, on occasion, put out three girls and three guys. Otherwise, the Empire will put out four guys and two girls every round of every game. The Moth Balls weren't the only egalitarians, our opponents the Incredi-balls also put four girls and two guys out on the court for every round.

The other major difference was understanding and comprehension of the rules. In fairness, the league had changed their version of the rules of dodgeball that day, so that added to the confusion.

But the other team had some real struggles with the basics. For example, a guy and a girl on their team were convinced that the ball was still live after bouncing on the ground, which led to Who's-On-First stlye arguments like...

Incredi-ball: YOU'RE OUT!
Moth Ball: The ball bounced before it hit me.
IB: YEAH! I SAW! STOP CHEATING!
MB: But it bounced like three or four times!
IB: I KNOW!

And round and round we went... Another mistake they made was that they called Jellybean out because she blocked a ball and one of the Incredi-balls caught it. That should be a neutral play, but they insisted that she was out.

It's one of the funny truths of amateur sport: the more relaxed and recreational a sport is supposed to be, the more conflict and chaos there will be. A blown call by a referee or a missed play will slide right off the back of a professional athlete, but for the house league player in a university's intramural program it's the end of the world. Although competitive or even intermediate dodgeball is over-the-top in its intensity, many disputes are avoided because players just call plays neutral and focus on continuing their game.

The standings showed that we lost one spirit point, but our captain took two spirit points off the Incredi-balls. We're now in last place in the league, but because two games ended in ties, we can easily catch up in the standings with a big win with full spirit points.

However, I was very impressed with how my Moth Balls played. They were flexible in their thinking and adapted to the other team's strengths and weaknesses quickly. The biggest adjustment the Moth Balls will need to make is we need to get used to the speed of the game. There was a lot of standing around and watching the play unfold. With some more experience, we'll learn that a player can change the outcome of every second of the game.

The best part though, is that despite the bitchiness of the Incredi-Balls, the Moth Balls had tons of fun. There were smiles on everyone's faces, and everyone was excited for the next week of playing.

Personally, I had a sub-par game. Although I had two or three catches and my throws were good and hard, I lacked accuracy and missed a lot of easy outs. I was keeping the ball down low, but it was tailing to the right too much. My dodging was off too. I was too conscious of the new rules, and committed the cardinal sin of dodgeball: I turned my back to the play. I chalked it all up to rust and fighting a strong head cold, but it was still disappointing.

We lost the game 15-7, but that's alright. We played very well and the Moth Balls show a lot of promise. I am sure that the second time we play the Incredi-balls we'll come out on top.

Gear of the Game: Kicks

As I'm obsessed with dodgeball, I think about it a lot. Not just making big plays, but the tiny little things that make differences in your style and comfort with the game. Obviously, there's a lot to be said for skills, tactics, and strategies, but what you wear during a game can make a huge difference.

But when you get down to it, the most important piece of equipment you can wear are your kicks, your wheels, your shoes.

Some of my teammates on the Evil Empire, specifically Hot Sauce and My Pet Monster, like to play in their bare feet to get a better feel for the floor. Or because they forget their running shoes at home. It's all very Tarzan.

Most players wear your standard-issue running shoes. Jellybean is a fan of her Adidas, and Jimmers recently went through a pair of red Nikes. One of the problems with regular running shoes is that the soles are separate pieces from the rest of the shoe that are glued on. The explosive lateral movements of dodgeball tend to rip and tear the soles of your shoes off.

That's why my weapon of choice are basketball shoes, particularly AND1s. First of all, being associated with the likes of this...



...gives me unbelievable street cred in the world of semi-pro dodgeball.

More importantly, basketball shoes are perfectly designed for the kind of movements necessary for dodgeball. They're very durable and have a great grip on the floor, which, after all, is usually a basketball court. Also, as Jimmers has often pointed out, because they've got high-tops, they offer superior ankle support.

For me, the Rolls Royce of dodgeball shoes would have to be the T-Mac 4s that came out from Adidas about three years ago. They used the HUG system, which was a laceless shoe-fitting system that had a lever and screw system on the back to adjust the tightness of your shoes. Unfortunately, they were an unwieldy $350, before tax. Also, wearing T-Macs would mean never winning a playoff series in the NBA, and that would be terrible.

This is another reason why AND1s are preferable. They're not that expensive, which is good because eventually all dodgeball shoes meet the same fate: Dodgeball burns.

It's an epidemic amongst dodgeball shoes, one that claims many fresh and clean pairs of Nikes, Adidas, Reeboks and even K-Swiss. They effect many shoes, including shoes that may very well be in your own closet. Dodgeball burns occur from dragging your plant foot during the follow-through of a throw. The top of your toes and sometimes even your ankle rub across the floor and burn off the shoe's material. Doing this week after week creates holes on the top of your shoes and end up destroying them since, after all, shoes aren't built for this kind of punishment.

Trust me when I say this: your shoes can make your game. Go out and invest some time in a good pair, but not too much money since they will, inevitably, be destroyed by the end of a season.

Awkward Introduction

This is always my least favourite part of a blog: the super-awkward introduction. As you can see here, the introduction to my other blog was brutal. I couldn't even use fonts consistently, and it was only two paragraphs! Ouch.

Long story short, I've been playing dodgeball in the Greater Toronto Area for the past five years, and have won four championships. Three of the championships were in the Toronto Central Sports and Social Club, and one was in a tournament held by the rival Toronto Dodgeball League.

In just a few days I'm starting another season, playing for my girlfriend's work team, the Moth Balls, which will be enrolled in TCSSC's Tuesday night recreational league. Aside from Jellybean and I, no one on the team will have any dodgeball experience.

The other team I'm playing with is the Evil Empire, which I'm the captain of, and this will be our fifth straight year of competition. We won the inaugural Toronto dodgeball championship back in the fall of 2003, and we've won three others since then. Our last season, the spring of 2008, we beat all comers and won the championship again. I wholly expect that we'll be contenders again.

I'm starting this blog for several reasons...

• to impart my considerable wisdom to my teammates, as well as dodgeball players around the world
• to record, for posterity, the trials and tribulations of two very different teams competing in the same city
• to entertain myself, my girlfriend, and my heterosexual life-partner Jimmers
• to revisit some of the crazy shit that's gone down in previous seasons

Anyway, this is definitely starting to get long-winded and awkward. The only way to break this kind of tension is to have sex or throw up the awkward turtle.