Here we go!

After my brief sabbatical from the hardest hitting (and only) dodgeball blog on the internet, I am back to give you all the game stories, arguments, fights over the course of my twin seasons. Of course, I'll be continuing to write tips and strategies to make you a better dodgeballer.

Tonight's game, and all Tuesday night games this season, will be with the Moth Balls. There have been a few changes to the team; some players have stepped down from the roster. To make up these vacancies, we have some new additions to the team. Also, Jellybean, always more observant then me, noticed that we have been shuffled into a recreational league that has all new teams, as well as the bottom two teams from the least rec season.

Thursday night's will, for the fifth straight year, belong to the Evil Empire. My Dogs of War will gear up and step on to the court to fight the good fight and bring our particular brand of foam and latex anger to gyms across Toronto. Like the Moth Balls, the Evil Empire has lost a few players. So far, we've only been able to replace 8Mile with a former member of the black and silver: Hardcorey. However, I am trying to recruit at least one female player to give our girls a rest during games.

There are some storylines that I expect will permeate the year. Jimmers, Kannah and some friends have created their own team (the Fairy Dodgemothers) that will be in the same Tuesday night league as the Moth Balls. Our first game against each other will be three weeks from now and should be a slobberknocker. The Moth Balls will continue to challenge themselves and grow as players and athletes. The Evil Empire will continue to try and harness their prodigious talents and control their tempers. Both teams will be fighting not just for respect but to make sure that they win a championship.

It promises to be an exciting year.

The difference between you and us? We make this look good...

Thursday night's Evil Empire game was bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. We were playing the Shweaty Balls, a fairly experienced rec team that features a few players from the very first dodgeball season. With practice, they'll be one of the stronger teams in the league, they just have to work on ball control and working in sync with each other.

Unfortunately for them, they're not there yet.

Our first game we beat them 15-10, and this game would be even more lopsided with us winning 20-9. Obviously, playing 29 games (really, 30 games if you include the all-in round at the end of the game) in just 55 minutes shows how fast the pace of the game was. The rounds were, on average less then two minutes long. That's twice as fast as our last match-up.

The high-velocity game, coupled with the very small gym at Blessed John school made for a very exciting game that had some ridiculous plays. One shot went off Tool Time, but before the ball was able to hit the ground, 8Mile got a hand on it, and had the ball roll down his arm, along his shoulders and back before he was able to get his other hand on it for the catch.

I was able to catch a throw from their strongest player by jabbing my elbow into the ball as it hit my side. I managed to pin it long enough to grab it with my other hand.

However, the play of the night goes to My Pet Monster who made the sneakiest carny move I've ever seen. With the Shweaty Balls down to just two players, My Pet Monster wound up and threw a slow, arching lob at one of them. Every member of the Empire audibly gasped. The other player read the ball perfectly, dropped the ball he was holding, and caught MPM's toss. The Shweaty Balls bench exploded and a player ran on to the court.

But MPM pointed at the other player and said "YOU'RE OUT! YOU DROPPED THE BALL!"

You see, TCSSC recently changed their rules so that they clearly state:

4. iv. Once in possession of a ball, a player cannot under any circumstances place a ball back down on their own side of the court. By doing so, that player is out. This includes putting a ball down in an attempt to catch on a second incoming ball. If you drop the original ball (by accident or on purpose), you are out.

What a wily veteran play. MPM knew that this guy had played before and that in an intense, high-speed game would rely upon his instincts. Unfortunately for our opponent, his instincts were wrong. What a play.

It was a wild game with lots of crazy plays, weird bounces and circus catches and a hell of a lot of fun to play. I am concerned though. I don't want a wild and fun game like that to reinforce any bad, lazy habits on the court. In a lot of ways, our loss to Shouldice the previous week was a better game with sounder fundamentals and stronger tactical play. However, the league has announced that this week's game is going to be postponed, so we have a week off. Hopefully, that'll let us clear our heads and focus on the kind of play that makes us such a dominant team.

In any event, it was a crazy fun and exciting game. Observe the orgy that ensued:


That's a lot of dude-on-dude action.

Because Blessed John is such a small gym, the Reg Dunlop Memorial Award was geared toward ball control, a facet of the game that is always an issue in the smaller dodgeball venues. The format was simple: Every time you swept a ball, you'd get a point. Whoever had the most points would win. It was all about the ladies, as Kannah beat out Pocahontas by a single sweep to win the lovely CIBC coffee mug. Congratulations Kannah Hoh, who can now drink a cup of joe.

Thanks, I'll be here all week. Tip your waitress.